"My problem was never with the Palestinians, or anyone else. My problem was always with Israel. I did not fear for my life there. I feared for my soul."
Such powerful and resonant words. The whole world needs to hear your message.
Sorry if I seem pedantic, but I am a proof reader and it is difficult to turn it off sometimes. Also, I appreciate your articles so much and want them to read as well as possible...
There is also an issue with the following sentence:
A few years ago after a talk I gave, I was approached a member of the audience. She asked me with genuine anguish, ‘Am I an antisemite?’…
I assume that what you mean is that she asked "Are you an antisemite?"
Or, if you wanted to word it differently you could write:
A few years ago after a talk I gave, I was approached a member of the audience. She asked me, with genuine anguish, whether I was an antisemite.
Dear Adam, No. need to apologise. I really appreciate this. Being pedantic is really useful. I have used your edit suggestion with gratitude! As for the second comment, she asked me if she was an antisemite. It is obviously not clear. So I will tidy it up.
She asked me with genuine anguish to tell her if she was an antisemite because she felt bad for the Palestinian people…
It doesn't quite work, in my opinion. "Felt bad for" is an Americanism and not really proper English. I don't think I'm being a snob! It's American slang English and the type of thing that American writers would avoid using in writing.
I would suggest:
"She asked me with genuine anguish to tell her if she was an antisemite because she felt upset about Israel's treatment of the Palestinian people."
You could send them either as a Word document or as a Google Doc. Work has Track Changes that allows me to make suggested edits, and Google Docs has "Suggesting" that serves the same function.
Or we can just do it like this, but it might get slightly annoying for your other readers.
Of course, I only want to serve the cause of truth, justice, and compassion...
Hi Avigail, excellent article. I suggest editing the following sentence in the 7th paragraph in order to make your intended meaning a bit clearer: "First, it is questionable whether it is morally right for people to do anything in order to survive."
The meaning of this sentence is ambiguous as there are two ways in which the word "anything" can be understood: 1) "anything at all" and 2) "anything no matter how harmful it is for others."
So I suggest something like:
"First, it is questionable whether it is morally right for people to do anything, without regard for its impact on others, in order to survive."
Your intended meaning would be made clearer still if you also italicise the word "anything."
"My problem was never with the Palestinians, or anyone else. My problem was always with Israel. I did not fear for my life there. I feared for my soul."
Such powerful and resonant words. The whole world needs to hear your message.
Thank you so much Adam. If it’s meant to get out there, it will. I am sending this to The Guardian, but not holding my breath… 🙏🏼
Sorry if I seem pedantic, but I am a proof reader and it is difficult to turn it off sometimes. Also, I appreciate your articles so much and want them to read as well as possible...
There is also an issue with the following sentence:
A few years ago after a talk I gave, I was approached a member of the audience. She asked me with genuine anguish, ‘Am I an antisemite?’…
I assume that what you mean is that she asked "Are you an antisemite?"
Or, if you wanted to word it differently you could write:
A few years ago after a talk I gave, I was approached a member of the audience. She asked me, with genuine anguish, whether I was an antisemite.
Dear Adam, No. need to apologise. I really appreciate this. Being pedantic is really useful. I have used your edit suggestion with gratitude! As for the second comment, she asked me if she was an antisemite. It is obviously not clear. So I will tidy it up.
Oh, yes, in that case you need to explain a bit more why she thought that.
Have a look at the fixed version. What do you think?
She asked me with genuine anguish to tell her if she was an antisemite because she felt bad for the Palestinian people…
It doesn't quite work, in my opinion. "Felt bad for" is an Americanism and not really proper English. I don't think I'm being a snob! It's American slang English and the type of thing that American writers would avoid using in writing.
I would suggest:
"She asked me with genuine anguish to tell her if she was an antisemite because she felt upset about Israel's treatment of the Palestinian people."
Ok. Makes sense. Copying and pasting. If I got paid for this I’d have to start paying you… 😉
If you want to you can email me your firsts drafts: adamawaterhouse@gmail.com
You could send them either as a Word document or as a Google Doc. Work has Track Changes that allows me to make suggested edits, and Google Docs has "Suggesting" that serves the same function.
Or we can just do it like this, but it might get slightly annoying for your other readers.
Of course, I only want to serve the cause of truth, justice, and compassion...
Hi Avigail, excellent article. I suggest editing the following sentence in the 7th paragraph in order to make your intended meaning a bit clearer: "First, it is questionable whether it is morally right for people to do anything in order to survive."
The meaning of this sentence is ambiguous as there are two ways in which the word "anything" can be understood: 1) "anything at all" and 2) "anything no matter how harmful it is for others."
So I suggest something like:
"First, it is questionable whether it is morally right for people to do anything, without regard for its impact on others, in order to survive."
Your intended meaning would be made clearer still if you also italicise the word "anything."
Good comment. Thank you! Will use your suggestion. 🙏🙏