Yes, thank you. This is a big deal and so incredibly unscientific it’s eye-watering, but it fits within the ethos we are trapped in and serves the purpose of our economics and our badly run societies. It means we don’t have to change anything, just medicate people (more profit for corporations and power for those dispensing medicines) or tell them they should cope or manage their symptoms better. To me this is quite literally a crime against humanity.
Liebe Avigail, ein kräftiges Chapeau und herzliches Dankeschön für Deine herausragende Analyse, die mitten rein ins Bull schießt! Es ist das Herausragendste und ELEMENTARSTE, was ich zu dieser Thematik jemals gelesen habe. So schön, dass es Dich gibt! Alles Liebe und Umarmung.
Thank you so much Tatjana! I am so deeply grateful for the time you put into reading my essays and for sharing such extraordinary feedback. Comments like yours make the work worthwhile and inspire me to keep up with my writing. With solidarity and gratitude, Avigail
Excellent article and I’m sure most people recognise the dilemma of sporadic engagement and withdrawal from events which evidence how vile the world can be when sociopaths and narcissists take power. I was also impressed by the clarity of analysis concerning the uselessness of what masquerades as psychotherapy these days. Well said again Avigail👍💚
thank you so much for expressing this view - i come from humanistic therapy and i can see that many of my teachers and trainers have this view of "changing things through the therapy room" and holding a political space. and i can also see how many perspectives they were still lacking as it was a feminist space without a clear intersectional awareness of things like migration, skin colour and disabilities. also i think the training did not focus enough on transmitting the awareness that what we do as therapists is political - so many trainees come out with a rather jndividualistic approach of 'set boundaries and protect your peace ' even if it means abandoning someone in need (?) i was deeply disappointed by the silence that they held in the face of the genocide in Gaza and then finally i saw how white their feminism is. so, still figuring out how to integrate my own hopelessness and still hold space for transformation and hope when my energy levels are depleted by the capitalist system. especially as someone with complex trauma and neurodivergency, this climate of hopelessness does trigger old patterns from my body, i struggle to think clearly and often need a lot of time resting before i am strong enough to come out of the cocoon and feel agency again.
What you say resonates strongly with my experience too. If you learn to validate your own emotions, you will change your brain. It’s all in my short book _Therapy Without A Therapist_. I work with many clients with neurodiversity and trauma and they all achieve integration, which leads to growth and opens the way to recovery. Integration is not an abstract concept. By integration I mean real changes to the brain. I write about this in some detail in other essays. I am sorry about your suffering and the disappointment in groups that clearly mattered to you. You are not alone.
thank you, you are so kind and i will check out your book :) yes integration and recovery is possible i have experienced on my own skin - i am navigation through the waters of the setbacks that happen when my body is brought to the limit again as this system keeps pushing... 🙏💜 thank you and blessings
Sara, late last night I wrote in a flash a response to you as a struggling person as I have felt myself to be. What I'm saying to you here, obviously, is what I've learned to say to myself.
While you might have lost the sense of your power, you're never without your feelings or your awareness of them and the knowledge that they are absolutely unique to you within your circumstances. That our culture imposes on us a compulsion to compare ourselves to others as to whether we're gaining or losing, whether we're inferior or superior to another, is one of the divisive crimes committed against us. For me this is an important political project, to outgrow that learned habit to measure inferiority and superiority and render it irrelevant.
Nature has given us the task of achieving our integrated humanity in opposition to the social forces that degrade it. Bravado, pride, condescension are signs of having failed at this task. As we progress, eventually a strange, new feeling begins to replace the anxiety of aloneness that once dominated us. Hard to believe, but love becomes real, as in - Forgive them, they know not who they are. Both Dante and Shakespeare went to great trouble to express the journey from a lost to a found soul. It's the most important drama in a human life, in tandem with finding your voice. That you've been gifted it in abundance. Accepting your role in that drama and playing the part you've been given to its conclusion is an aspect of the agency that our dear Avigail writes about.
Rather than considering yourself a condition, you are a narrative, writing your own script and setting your own stage. Your absolute uniqueness obviates all comparisons. It is the universe that has brought you into existence. It is a noble entity that bequeaths that attribute onto you and has arranged for those hardships that you will overcome to demonstrate your nobility.
Having been laid low and struggling your way back up is a blessed state of being in your development that those who have entered this world into privilege and advantage will never know. Keep nurturing that beauty within that a surface kind cannot match.
As a practical matter, write out your narrative, at the end that is what will be left of us. The better you're able to express the story of your past, the more aware and engaged you'll be with the unfolding story of your present. Our humanity is so phenomenally rich in humanizing narratives left by others. I started with the letters of Vincent Van Gogh. There's no end to this humanizing resource. It shows us that courage is not an absence of fear. And you'll be part of it.
hi Mario thank you so much for enganging with me and sharing these beautifully written and wise words. i like what you said about being like nature - *that* is our nature beyond all these layers of constructed urban humanity. i also take warmly your suggestion of sharing my story - this is something i often think about. i do write but I've never shared the details of my story - it intertwines in ways that challenge many societal tabooes. sharing intimate information makes me feel very vulnerable and i want to do in a way that (and when) it feels safe. thanks a lot, a big hug to you and your gentle heart
Quite an essay Avigail, again thanks for all your sane work.
Some reflections on what you wrote -
“Investing in our own development is not a recipe for selfishness.”
I call it the journey within. One we all must take on our own and do our own work.
Look at and question everything about yourself.
Why am I this way?
Why do I have this belief?
Who has programmed me? Conditioned me?
How has this occurred?
Why does that person annoy me?
Why does this person upset me?
What is my reaction saying about me?
What do I have to learn from this reaction?
Why am I reacting at all?
It’s only by gaining real insight, understanding, by “seeing” can we instantly change. I believe this insight and understanding is the actual changing our brains.
It’s like we have to deprogram, un condition ourselves, see ourselves, almost come back to ourselves to find and rediscover who and what we really are. Our authentic selves.
“Being in a bad situation and feeling, or being objectively powerless to change it is the clinical and scientific definition of depression.”
I fell into a depressive cycle because of a work situation I could not change no matter how hard I tried.
“The relationship between inner development and outer action is not merely theoretical.”
I would argue they are one and the same. The inner is the outer and the outer is the inner, there is no separation.
It’s our own reactive unaware dysfunctions wants/desires/greeds/fears that get played out in the world and they create reactions, drama, problems and fears for us and everyone else.
We turn this into our story, and off go endlessly creating mindless unaware actions and reactions with everyone else.
It really is quite mad.
So, until we become aware, and see our own dysfunctions and how we propagate them for ourselves and others we will be cursed to repeat them, endlessly.
When are aware then we can act selflessly, clearly, and not create and spread our very special mass human dysfunctions.
If the point of the article is to call out the lack of actually airing out the role of external politics into our "fears" (Therapist twistspeak as the piece says: "legitimate external fears -> internal anxieties", wtf?) I wholeheartedly agree. When one is surrounded by people with asymmetric information, or people not having the time or prepared to be doing the deep listening that could actually bridge pol-differences, or close ones busy with their own personal lives, with workplace interactions encouraged not to touch upon the three big-No-No's No sex, religion or politics, it's understandable to feel isolated and consequently feel the impact of "learned helplessness" when it comes to "talking about politics". Quite a relatable piece.
Some quotable quotes :
==> He suggests that therapists and clients might need to consider acting to change the world, because just talking about how the world hurts us may be too passive.
--> Therapy introverts the emotions, calls fear “anxiety”.
This following para is highly empathetic and ought to be self-explanatory but needed to be articulated just the way it's been done.
==> Imagine a CBT therapist telling a starving woman surviving in a tent in Gaza’s rubble, whose life and entire family were destroyed by Israel that she would feel better if she only changed her ‘faulty thinking’… or a psychoanalyst suggesting that her difficult feelings are a result of the fact that her parents were a bit too harsh or rigid. The medical model would suggest that her feelings are some kind of a malfunction, and that she needs to be medicated out of her mind, so she doesn’t feel so bad. By ‘bad’ I mean entirely appropriate feelings such as shock, grief, loss, anger, disappointment, betrayal. In what universe are these feelings a ‘malfunction’, given people’s lived reality in Gaza or in any context where people are mistreated? With the exception of truly disordered people, most individuals rarely ‘malfunction’—it is the world driven by disordered people that does.
Thank you. This is such a kind comment. I have long believed that the problems in psychology and in my own profession, psychotherapy, are a reflection of the way the world is. That is why my profession has essentially made no difference to the world at all, as Hillman and Ventura argued over thirty years ago. Being a therapist has to mean being a political activist. The only reason I have clients is because the world is hurting people. So if we really want to help people, we have to change the world. Otherwise all we do is earn a living. It is really hard to find therapists who are interested in politics or society. It’s incredible, and horrible too.
I wish I could formulate well enough to turn my lived experience into a short meaningful comment. So much I experienced was linked to political circumstances. I did not find a therapist who could even understand the situation, so I did not even bother. If I have to first educate someone on human rights, racism and feminism, then the sessions would add to the powerlessness, just to reiterate your point.
Thanks for making such an important point, Avigail.
Thank you. Can I ask what in particular speaks to you?
The fact that in therapy, it's mostly inner stuff that's acknowledged while life circumstances have a huge effect on how we're doing emotionally.
Yes, thank you. This is a big deal and so incredibly unscientific it’s eye-watering, but it fits within the ethos we are trapped in and serves the purpose of our economics and our badly run societies. It means we don’t have to change anything, just medicate people (more profit for corporations and power for those dispensing medicines) or tell them they should cope or manage their symptoms better. To me this is quite literally a crime against humanity.
Liebe Avigail, ein kräftiges Chapeau und herzliches Dankeschön für Deine herausragende Analyse, die mitten rein ins Bull schießt! Es ist das Herausragendste und ELEMENTARSTE, was ich zu dieser Thematik jemals gelesen habe. So schön, dass es Dich gibt! Alles Liebe und Umarmung.
Thank you so much Tatjana! I am so deeply grateful for the time you put into reading my essays and for sharing such extraordinary feedback. Comments like yours make the work worthwhile and inspire me to keep up with my writing. With solidarity and gratitude, Avigail
Excellent article and I’m sure most people recognise the dilemma of sporadic engagement and withdrawal from events which evidence how vile the world can be when sociopaths and narcissists take power. I was also impressed by the clarity of analysis concerning the uselessness of what masquerades as psychotherapy these days. Well said again Avigail👍💚
Thank you Brendan and also for all your support ♥️
thank you so much for expressing this view - i come from humanistic therapy and i can see that many of my teachers and trainers have this view of "changing things through the therapy room" and holding a political space. and i can also see how many perspectives they were still lacking as it was a feminist space without a clear intersectional awareness of things like migration, skin colour and disabilities. also i think the training did not focus enough on transmitting the awareness that what we do as therapists is political - so many trainees come out with a rather jndividualistic approach of 'set boundaries and protect your peace ' even if it means abandoning someone in need (?) i was deeply disappointed by the silence that they held in the face of the genocide in Gaza and then finally i saw how white their feminism is. so, still figuring out how to integrate my own hopelessness and still hold space for transformation and hope when my energy levels are depleted by the capitalist system. especially as someone with complex trauma and neurodivergency, this climate of hopelessness does trigger old patterns from my body, i struggle to think clearly and often need a lot of time resting before i am strong enough to come out of the cocoon and feel agency again.
What you say resonates strongly with my experience too. If you learn to validate your own emotions, you will change your brain. It’s all in my short book _Therapy Without A Therapist_. I work with many clients with neurodiversity and trauma and they all achieve integration, which leads to growth and opens the way to recovery. Integration is not an abstract concept. By integration I mean real changes to the brain. I write about this in some detail in other essays. I am sorry about your suffering and the disappointment in groups that clearly mattered to you. You are not alone.
thank you, you are so kind and i will check out your book :) yes integration and recovery is possible i have experienced on my own skin - i am navigation through the waters of the setbacks that happen when my body is brought to the limit again as this system keeps pushing... 🙏💜 thank you and blessings
You are welcome, and thank you so much. The same to you, and I wish for you also a full recovery from any residue of trauma you might still carry. 🙏🏼🌻
Sara, late last night I wrote in a flash a response to you as a struggling person as I have felt myself to be. What I'm saying to you here, obviously, is what I've learned to say to myself.
While you might have lost the sense of your power, you're never without your feelings or your awareness of them and the knowledge that they are absolutely unique to you within your circumstances. That our culture imposes on us a compulsion to compare ourselves to others as to whether we're gaining or losing, whether we're inferior or superior to another, is one of the divisive crimes committed against us. For me this is an important political project, to outgrow that learned habit to measure inferiority and superiority and render it irrelevant.
Nature has given us the task of achieving our integrated humanity in opposition to the social forces that degrade it. Bravado, pride, condescension are signs of having failed at this task. As we progress, eventually a strange, new feeling begins to replace the anxiety of aloneness that once dominated us. Hard to believe, but love becomes real, as in - Forgive them, they know not who they are. Both Dante and Shakespeare went to great trouble to express the journey from a lost to a found soul. It's the most important drama in a human life, in tandem with finding your voice. That you've been gifted it in abundance. Accepting your role in that drama and playing the part you've been given to its conclusion is an aspect of the agency that our dear Avigail writes about.
Rather than considering yourself a condition, you are a narrative, writing your own script and setting your own stage. Your absolute uniqueness obviates all comparisons. It is the universe that has brought you into existence. It is a noble entity that bequeaths that attribute onto you and has arranged for those hardships that you will overcome to demonstrate your nobility.
Having been laid low and struggling your way back up is a blessed state of being in your development that those who have entered this world into privilege and advantage will never know. Keep nurturing that beauty within that a surface kind cannot match.
As a practical matter, write out your narrative, at the end that is what will be left of us. The better you're able to express the story of your past, the more aware and engaged you'll be with the unfolding story of your present. Our humanity is so phenomenally rich in humanizing narratives left by others. I started with the letters of Vincent Van Gogh. There's no end to this humanizing resource. It shows us that courage is not an absence of fear. And you'll be part of it.
hi Mario thank you so much for enganging with me and sharing these beautifully written and wise words. i like what you said about being like nature - *that* is our nature beyond all these layers of constructed urban humanity. i also take warmly your suggestion of sharing my story - this is something i often think about. i do write but I've never shared the details of my story - it intertwines in ways that challenge many societal tabooes. sharing intimate information makes me feel very vulnerable and i want to do in a way that (and when) it feels safe. thanks a lot, a big hug to you and your gentle heart
Thank you for stating the obvious in a world where staying the obvious will often get you labelled a crank or a lunatic or worse 😁🙏
Yes right?? That's exactly what I think too, that I am always stating the obvious... Thank you!!
Quite an essay Avigail, again thanks for all your sane work.
Some reflections on what you wrote -
“Investing in our own development is not a recipe for selfishness.”
I call it the journey within. One we all must take on our own and do our own work.
Look at and question everything about yourself.
Why am I this way?
Why do I have this belief?
Who has programmed me? Conditioned me?
How has this occurred?
Why does that person annoy me?
Why does this person upset me?
What is my reaction saying about me?
What do I have to learn from this reaction?
Why am I reacting at all?
It’s only by gaining real insight, understanding, by “seeing” can we instantly change. I believe this insight and understanding is the actual changing our brains.
It’s like we have to deprogram, un condition ourselves, see ourselves, almost come back to ourselves to find and rediscover who and what we really are. Our authentic selves.
“Being in a bad situation and feeling, or being objectively powerless to change it is the clinical and scientific definition of depression.”
I fell into a depressive cycle because of a work situation I could not change no matter how hard I tried.
“The relationship between inner development and outer action is not merely theoretical.”
I would argue they are one and the same. The inner is the outer and the outer is the inner, there is no separation.
It’s our own reactive unaware dysfunctions wants/desires/greeds/fears that get played out in the world and they create reactions, drama, problems and fears for us and everyone else.
We turn this into our story, and off go endlessly creating mindless unaware actions and reactions with everyone else.
It really is quite mad.
So, until we become aware, and see our own dysfunctions and how we propagate them for ourselves and others we will be cursed to repeat them, endlessly.
When are aware then we can act selflessly, clearly, and not create and spread our very special mass human dysfunctions.
If the point of the article is to call out the lack of actually airing out the role of external politics into our "fears" (Therapist twistspeak as the piece says: "legitimate external fears -> internal anxieties", wtf?) I wholeheartedly agree. When one is surrounded by people with asymmetric information, or people not having the time or prepared to be doing the deep listening that could actually bridge pol-differences, or close ones busy with their own personal lives, with workplace interactions encouraged not to touch upon the three big-No-No's No sex, religion or politics, it's understandable to feel isolated and consequently feel the impact of "learned helplessness" when it comes to "talking about politics". Quite a relatable piece.
Some quotable quotes :
==> He suggests that therapists and clients might need to consider acting to change the world, because just talking about how the world hurts us may be too passive.
--> Therapy introverts the emotions, calls fear “anxiety”.
This following para is highly empathetic and ought to be self-explanatory but needed to be articulated just the way it's been done.
==> Imagine a CBT therapist telling a starving woman surviving in a tent in Gaza’s rubble, whose life and entire family were destroyed by Israel that she would feel better if she only changed her ‘faulty thinking’… or a psychoanalyst suggesting that her difficult feelings are a result of the fact that her parents were a bit too harsh or rigid. The medical model would suggest that her feelings are some kind of a malfunction, and that she needs to be medicated out of her mind, so she doesn’t feel so bad. By ‘bad’ I mean entirely appropriate feelings such as shock, grief, loss, anger, disappointment, betrayal. In what universe are these feelings a ‘malfunction’, given people’s lived reality in Gaza or in any context where people are mistreated? With the exception of truly disordered people, most individuals rarely ‘malfunction’—it is the world driven by disordered people that does.
Thank you. This is such a kind comment. I have long believed that the problems in psychology and in my own profession, psychotherapy, are a reflection of the way the world is. That is why my profession has essentially made no difference to the world at all, as Hillman and Ventura argued over thirty years ago. Being a therapist has to mean being a political activist. The only reason I have clients is because the world is hurting people. So if we really want to help people, we have to change the world. Otherwise all we do is earn a living. It is really hard to find therapists who are interested in politics or society. It’s incredible, and horrible too.
Interesting. Your link about Interpersonal Neurobiology sadly doesn’t work.
The hyperlink I included is to the goodreads page of own book _Therapy Without A Therapist_ where I discuss the way that interpersonal neurobiology has changed psychotherapy, etc. The link works at my end, so I am not sure why it’s not working for you. I am sorry about this. The link is: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57311824-therapy-without-a-therapist?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=a4cKSq9jua&rank=1
There is a short video by Dr Dan Siegel about IPNB here: https://drdansiegel.com/interpersonal-neurobiology/
Thank you Abigail.
Thank you, Avigale I will come back to it again and again.
I wish I could formulate well enough to turn my lived experience into a short meaningful comment. So much I experienced was linked to political circumstances. I did not find a therapist who could even understand the situation, so I did not even bother. If I have to first educate someone on human rights, racism and feminism, then the sessions would add to the powerlessness, just to reiterate your point.